Black or With Cream?

I decided I needed a maternity swimsuit. I'd like to take some neonatal aqua motion classes, and well, my current bathing suit just isn't going to do the trick. Trying to squeeze into that would be like a really bad joke - or one of those showing up at school naked dreams. Not a pleasant thought.

Our first stop was a store called Thyme Maternity. They're normally a great spot for anything hip and trendy for soon to be moms. I wasn't in the mood to really look around (baby pushing against organs, causing some cramping, and what not), so as soon as I walked in the door I immediately asked for someone to point me in the right direction.

Seeing how spring is just around the corner, and most retail shops receive their spring wear and bathing suits in January I figured this would be a piece of cake. Lots of fun, vibrant, colours and great styles to choose from. What I saw in front of me was one rack... with four plain, boring, down right ugly, black swimsuits. One tankini (my preferred style) and three one pieces. I'm sure my jaw hit the floor.

"Can I start a fitting room for you?"
"Uhhhh... sure. I'll try all of them."

What covered my newly larger breasts, was baggy and saggy in the butt. What fit in the butt, had my boobs popping out all over the place. Even if I had liked any of these suits, I'd be plum out of luck.

Next stop... the mall. Ugh. Not my favorite place on an ordinary day. Today, it just seemed like a cruel joke being played out by fate.

There is a store in the midtown plaza (Saskatchewans largest mall - and my least favorite place in Saskatoon) that I always hit when I'm ready for a new swimsuit. All they do is swim wear and swim related gear. Fabulous selection, knowledgeable staff, great atmosphere, a bit pricier than other shops - but well worth it. Figured they'd have at least eight or nine styles to choose from. I love this store.

Five bathing suits. Four of them mirror images of one another. Black one piece with contrasting trim, matching tankini. Identical Brown one piece with contrasting trim, matching tankini. Then down, at the very bottom rack... a plain BLUE tankini. Only three in stock, and they happen to be on sale (must be last years style, as apparently the newest trend in maternity swimsuits is modeled after funeral wear). There is one, a size larger than I usually wear. Figure it's worth trying on... figure they're all worth trying on. Again, I hear myself telling the sales person, "I'll try them all."

Not impressed with the black suits... but at least they fit both my breasts and my bottom. Wanted to gag when trying the brown suits... my newly darkened hair blended right in and made me want to cry (dang hormones). The blue suit, while nothing special, was blue. I love blue swimsuits. All my favorite swimsuits have been some shade of blue, it matches my eyes... and just says something about the serene quality to be found underwater where no one cares to bother you, where you can just relax and breathe deep. The blue swimsuit fit (gotta love the weight gain that often accompanies pregnancy). I bought the blue swimsuit.

Just for "fun", we stopped by a shop called Motherhood. I noticed a sign out front that said SALE, so figured it couldn't hurt to look around.

"Welcome to Motherhood!"

A chipper voice floated out, smiled, and slapped me across the face.

Good gawd... is THAT what this was? I stopped in my tracks, and had to think about it for a second.

"Heh. Yeah." I couldn't even bring myself to look at the sales lady behind the counter. Face forward to avoid any chance at eye contact. Found the swimsuits on my own.... and was glad I bought one already.

It was time to run away and have a smoothie.

Heartbeats!

Yesterday I had a check-up with my OB/GYN (who is wonderful, btw). I'd hoped we'd be doing our first ultrasound, but no luck. However something rather amazing happened during our visit. Damon and I got to hear the baby's heartbeat. It was the strangest thing. Very honestly, I'm still a little put back by it. There simply aren't words to describe hearing that fast, rhythmic beating coming from ones gut (which is not a place associated with any poetic connections of the heart).

Dr. Payton initially found the heartbeat as soon as she placed the stethoscope on my stomach. The stethoscope, I should add, was fitted with a speaker so that the slushing, gurgling sound of my insides filled the small sterile room. Before I realized what had happened she quietly exclaimed "Oh! It's moving.", and adjusted the instrument so it was further onto my right side... where the beating again resumed with much strength and seeming enthusiasm over the simple act of being.

Everything was over within a matter of a minute and a half, but a day later and I'm still reeling from the experience. Damon phoned my parents and his own to share the news. I talked to my little sister, Jewles. Being twelve, her summation of the experience boiled down to one statement: "That's Weird."

Elaborating, at seeing my slightly inquisitive head tilt, she went on.
"For one body to have to heartbeats"

Yep. She's right. It is weird, as so many "everyday miracles" are.