Giggles!

Okay, just a real quick entry... LILY GIGGLED!

That's right. Lily-Ann giggled for the first time today. I'd just finished changing her diaper, and was yaking at her the way I usually do, and out came the cutest, brightest giggle. It was really short, but it was very much a giggle. :D

Just had to share.

My Heart

I wasn't one of those textbook moms, who falls in love with their baby at first sight. I was honestly in such a haze for the first several days that I can't recall feeling much of anything. Lily-Ann's birth was quite honestly the worst experience of my life. After such a horrible beginning, it was tough. It really was. I couldn't hold her for more than a few minutes (due to pain at the incision site). I couldn't change her (for the same reason). I couldn't bathe her. I couldn't take care of her.

On top of feeling the physical pain from the surgery, I was also loaded with guilt. I felt like such a bad mom. All the things that should come easy, should come naturally, didn't. I couldn't even produce enough milk to feed her (because of a breast reduction roughly 8 years ago). We had a pretty rough go of it... but because of my having such a hard beginning, Damon has ended up with a daughter who worships the ground he walks on, and he is completely wrapped around her little finger. THAT I wouldn't change for anything.

Lily-Ann is a month old today, and she completely has my heart. I still have trouble with some things - like carrying her, or holding her for more than about ten minutes - but things are definitely getting better. As I heal physically, I'm healing emotionally too. The more time that gets put between us and the C-section, the better things get. As terrible an experience as her birth was, it was a blessing none the less. After all, I would never ever wish to erase the event that brought me my little Strawberry, no matter how traumatic.

Lily really has become my whole world. So, despite it all, even without the textbook beginning, I've ended up being one of those moms. You know. The ones who are completely in love with their precious, perfect babies... and who bores everyone to tears with all the talk about how amazing their little one really, truly is.

Bucky Nan & Little Lil

Brandibuck (our Havanese) has taken it upon herself to become Lily-Ann's official Nanny. As such, she's earned the new nickname "Nan". After feedings Bucky Nan is always sure to clean Lily's face of any spilled milk... Nan also cleans her eyes after baby wakes, and I'm sure she'd also do diaper duty if we let her. ;) Buck is very devoted to her little girl.

Lily-Ann Marie Has Arrived!

I'm sorry for not posting earlier, but my recovery (physically and emotionally) from three days of labor followed by a stuck baby and emergency C-section has been rather slow. I promise I'll post the entire story bit by bit as I'm feeling better. For now though, the good news...

Lily-Ann is Here!!!

And she's the most beautiful baby I could have imagined. :)